As a child, the process of building a friendship home was ongoing. Growing up as a military brat, my family didn’t stay in one place for very long. By the time I had entered the first grade, we had lived on an island and two continents, finally settling in Texas, where my father decided to retire.
Having attended school on military bases, it was easy to connect to other students because we shared a common lifestyle. Friendships were fleeting, looked upon more as easy come easy go, with no long term attachment. Moving every six months to a year, the only constant was my immediate family.
With a childhood like that you would think that making friends would become second nature. However, what actually became second nature was always saying good-bye and never looking back. Bonds were quickly made and quickly broken.
It was not until my later years that a longing for lasting friendships replaced gypsy ways and the nurturing of relationships became a priority. Because these were uncharted waters, it did not come easy. Being an introvert did not help matters either. My comfort zone was spending weekends curled up on the sofa reading a book or watching a movie with my furry four legged little friends by my side.
When does one decide to put introverted ways aside and step out of the comfort zone in search of new friends? In most cases it happens when the yearning for companionship becomes stronger than the need to be alone, when you decide that staying at home reading a book or watching a movie is no longer enough and you long for conversation instead.
In order to turn our lives around, we must be willing to put aside fears and stick ourselves out there. Awkward as it seems at first, force yourself to take action. As in the Nike campaign “just do it”.
Instead of directly heading home Friday afternoon, extend an invitation to a few coworkers to go out after work. Begin saying yes to social gatherings. A good host will take the time to introduce you to the other guests. Introduce yourself to new hires. Most likely they are feeling out of sorts and will appreciate the time you took to say hello. In time, with your new found friendships, social gatherings will be looked upon with anticipation rather than with hesitation.
